How To Talk To Defensive People

  • Make it about you not them. Use “I statements.”

  • Talk about one issue at a time. No rolling old issues into the current conversation.

  • Use feeling words such as “when you _ _ _ _ , I feel _ _ _.”

  • Say something in the moment or soon after. Don’t let issues fester for days, weeks, and months. 

  • Know your audience. If you can’t say it in person, text your thoughts or email them.

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